The 77 Films I Watched in May

 

It’s the first of the month my dudes, that can only mean one thing? Actually it can mean many things, sorry to remind you rent is due and probably several other bills you’d rather not deal with. However in this blogspace those pesky things like reality and money don’t exist. Instead we’re here to just discuss movies, and what the royal We have been watching for the past month.

I have found my monthly numbers to be eerily similar to both March and April, which is encouraging to be able to gauge how many things on my checklist I can realistically cross off in a month. Would I love to do more? Absolutely but until the day I’m independently wealthy (there I go talking about money again) this pace will have to suffice.

What does this pace mean? Well specifically my timetable for finishing the top 100 list will be pretty on schedule, or at least right on the revised schedule. As of the first of June I’m looking at about 47 movies I can say with absolute certainty will make the final list. There are about the same number of movies in the “maybe” category, but I can say right now, most of those won’t go the distance. Of the 125 movies I have left, there are probably 40 I can confidently say will make the list, so that leaves about 13 of the 50 maybes. Too much math? I’m sorry, either way we are shaping up to be disappointed, as is tradition.

The ever looming presence of what to watch/do after this list is growing larger. I originally planned a nice reprieve where I did things like read books, play video games, or catch up on TV shows, but the pile of unwatched new movies is growing larger by the week. Perhaps the real solution is to strike a sort of balance in my life you know, like “normal” people seem to have where I just live life, watch a few movies and not stress out about filling every spare second with something quasi-productive. That however is a problem to be dealt with in about two months.

 

Did you eat 30 cans of pineapple in solidarity?

So it seems a fair time to discuss what was actually watched this month. I did see a CGI racoon and his cute friends get tortured and experimented on in the theater. I even had a night or two of trash, so the list isn’t completely bogged down with prestigious classics. At some point this month I decided to take advantage of my local library system. I was shocked and appalled to find out in a city of 6 million our library is stuck in 2005. There are maybe 10 blu-rays in total throughout the Chicago Public Library system, and nearly every surrounding suburb kicks our ass in terms of available titles. It would help if Chicago was part of the inter-library lending system but that’s far too much to ask. Oh yeah, they also aren’t part of Kanopy so that gives up another legit streaming option. Sad times indeed.

However I did hit them up for some *gulp* DVDs, I know gross right? It does harken back to a time when Criterion really were kings in the media game, because let me tell you their DVD releases were leagues above most other companies in that era. Having many another company dropping crap that wasn’t exactly formatted to fit modern TVs. Auto-playing subtitles, oftentimes underneath the black letterbox bars making them impossible to read on modern TVs. Well considering the lengths I went to on the previous list even watching VHS tapes and rips of them, I suppose DVD is fine and I should quit being a snob. This is just what happens when a city spends ⅔ of it’s budget on a militarized police force and kick-backs rather than investing in any public services. I’ll end the political diatribe now.

I also understand the irony of renting DVDs I actually own. However, when your DVD collection is scattered in random boxes 50+ miles away, you take the path of least resistance. 2013 me would have thought nearly all my contending films would have had a proper release by now, but I would have been wrong. I can launch into many a tirade on why streaming ultimately sucks and how that format cries out for a monopoly to corral all media into one place. Perhaps we’re still another decade away from streaming movies joining the same space as music, but don’t be surprised if it gets even worse. Then we’ll be at the mercy of what titles streaming services want to bother licensing and we’ll be left with a world in which every video store is Blockbuster. In this analogy Blockbuster sucks, it always did, you’re just nostalgic for a world in which you didn’t have back pain and music videos were still on MTV.

I started the month with Chungking Express for one very specific reason. That is the date on the canned pineapples He Qiwu buys 30 of. I don’t need much in the way of a nudge to select my evening’s entertainment. The film is still a damn masterpiece but stay tuned for the top 100 to see if it makes the list. The month ended with Asia as well, particularly Akira Kurosawa’s Kagemusha, one of the films I own that I still rented because driving sucks. Kagemusha sure looks good, and I wish that was the first 4k Kurosawa announced from Criterion instead of Dreams. The film itself is a notch below his best work, which is not exactly an insult, but the man has done better.

In between those I tackled a number of films that seemed like first time watches, and others I could have slept through and remembered every line of dialogue. This will only increase as I approach the finish line but it did feel good to wrap up more directors this time around. Both Chaplin and Keaton are finished and their respective top 100 representatives have been chosen. Kenji Mizoguchi is also wrapped up with the double feature of Sansho the Bailiff and the Crucified Lovers. Similar but different, I am done rewatching Czech films for this list, knocking out the last three major contenders. I suppose I have no more Iranian films either but that’s another story.

Speaking of streaming, I took advantage of Mubi’s 4 months for $4 deal, and promptly watched the four films they had that were on my list. Not sure if any will make the final tally, and to be honest I can’t exactly say I recommend the service. Streaming quality was fine and the interface was solid, but this is clearly something to love at that price. I am told that soon Netflix will boot us off because they are not allowing password sharing. Well if that is the case, so be it, I got to watch I Think You Should Leave last night and I’ll live without it. There were like 1-2 films I would have liked to rewatch but that app is garbage for film. HBO Max is now just Max, and I don’t like how they changed things around because new things scare me. However they seem to have the same content for the most part. I will refrain from speaking on the actual quality of the streaming and whether or not a bunch of my titles disappeared or not until I can properly dive in. For now at least I would say Criterion and HBO had by far the most films on my list to stream. So if you did want to watch along with these, you could do a lot worse than these.

Oh yeah for those that are hip to the old physical media this past weekend was Vinegar Syndrome’s annual Halfway to Black Friday sale. I found myself going fairly hard (not as crazy as last year but there’s no shame in that). This sale will make that unwatched pile get damn near unruly but if last year proves anything, I can recover. I did take advantage of the Flash pre-order bundle so best believe we’re watching Showgirls in 4k when that arrives. Until then, here are the films I watched in the merry month of May.

May Film Journal

05/01
Chungking Express (1994)-*****
Malcolm X (1992)-*****
La Strada (1954)-*****
Nights of Cabiria (1957)-*****

05/02
Brief Encounter (1945)-*****
Frankenstein (1931)-*****

05/03
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)-*****
A Woman Under the Influence (1974)-*****

05/04
Three Colors: Red (1994)-*****
The Empire Strikes Back (1980)-*****
Guardians of the Galaxy (2023)-***½
Return of the Jedi (1983)-*****

05/05
Los Olvidados (1950)-*****

05/06
The Battle of Algiers (1966)-*****
The Exterminating Angel (1962)-*****
The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)-*****

05/07
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)****½
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)-*****

05/08
The Gold Rush (1925)-*****
North by Northwest (1959)-*****
Wanda (1970)-****
Oliver Twist (1948)-*****

05/09
The General (1927)-*****
Rosetta (1999)-*****

05/10
The Cremator (1968)-*****
The Junk Shop (1965)-***½
Diamonds of the Night (1964)-*****
Daisies (1966)-*****

05/11
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)-*****
The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967)-*****
The Witches Mountain (1972)-**
Cemetery Man (1994)-****
Jungle Holocaust (1977)-***½

05/12
Don’t Look Now (1973)-****
Diabolique (1955)-*****
Close-Up (1990)-*****

05/13
The Color of Pomegranates (1969)-*****
The Cyclist (1989)-*****

05/14
Toni Erdmann (2016)-****½
The Social Network (2010)-****½

05/15
To Live (1994)-*****
Imitation of Life (1959)-*****
The White Ribbon (2009)-****½
Raising Arizona (1987)-*****

05/16
The Deer Hunter (1978)-*****
Scarface (1932)-*****

05/17
Sansho the Bailiff (1954)-*****
The Crucified Lovers (1954)-*****

05/18
Intolerance (1916)-*****
Brazil (1985)-*****

05/19
All About Eve (1950)-*****
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)-*****

05/20
The Grapes of Wrath (1940)-*****
Cache (2005)-*****

05/21
Strangers on a Train (1951)-*****
Annie Hall (1977)-*****

05/22
Orlando (1992)-*****
Burning (2018)-****½
Damnation (1988)-*****
Huesera: the Bone Woman (2023)-****

05/23
Last Tango in Paris (1972)-*****
Metropolis (1927)-*****

05/24
The Seventh Seal (1957)-*****
Tropical Malady (2004)-****½

05/25
Diary of a Country Priest (1950)-*****
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)-*****

05/26
Glen or Glenda? (1953)-*****

05/27
Fargo (1996)-*****

05/28
The First Nudie Musical (1976)-*½
The Princess Bride (1987)-*****
Dazed and Confused (1993)-*****

05/29
Up (2009)-*****
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974)-*****
The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)-****½

05/30
Rocky (1976)-*****
Rocky 2 (1979)-*****

05/31
Kagemusha (1980)-****½

Best Film of the Month - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Worst Film of the Month - The First Nudie Musical

Vinegar Syndrome Halfway to Black Friday Haul Part 1

We are halfway through 2022, and the sales have not stopped. Perhaps the highlight of this time of year for many of us is Vinegar Syndrome’s Halfway to Black Friday Sale that took place over Memorial Day weekend. In lieu of my usual haul post and a quick re-cap of all the films I got, I figured I might try something different. You see unlike Criterion titles, the overwhelming majority of Vinegar Syndrome pickups are blind buys. There is a buzz about going blindly into this, basing your pickups on recommendations or simply taking a chance. You might be in for a newly discovered classic, or a craptacular dud.

I would argue that no label is quite the crapshoot as Vinegar Syndrome. I believe they are responsible for releasing more films featured on Best of the Worst as anyone else. Even the “great” films they put out are often hated by fellow fans and subscribers. However any fan of cult cinema will recognize that they are the absolute best when it comes to restoring and releasing the weird, marginalized, fringe movies that deserve to be seen.

Well I’ll keep things somewhat short and get into some of the actual films I’ve watched over the past 24-48 hours. Hopefully I’ll keep this going for the rest of the haul and the monthly subscription packages as they get delivered.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1973)

Each major sale from VS is usually centered around a bundle of titles, with one or two being the highlights. Vinegar Syndrome has spent the better part of 2022 hyping up their massive 4k restoration of Thriller. The set contains three separate cuts of the film, a boatload of extras and two separate slipcovers. Despite not actually being 50% off for the sale it still managed to sell out over the weekend and without question became the biggest ticket item of the sale. It seemed fitting that I would start my own watch-a-thon with it.

As is usually the case when faced with multiple versions of the same film I often go with the longest version. That happened to be the Cannes cut which was long out of circulation and features some hardcore inserts. I say inserts because it is pretty clear that whoever’s close-up genitals are being shown don’t belong to the actors in the scene. I can only speak on this Swedish version but I will say it might have benefited from the American release. It was distributed by AIP, which had a habit of buying foreign exploitation cinema and then cutting 15-30 minutes from it.

I’d say the hardcore elements seemed jarring and out of place, so getting rid of those is no great loss. The scenes of violence are stylistically shown in super-duper slow-motion to an almost comical extent. There are also several dragging scenes that could have definitely been tightened up. Since Thriller aka They Call Her One Eye was a longstanding cult classic, I’m going to assume it is largely on the strength of the American re-edit. The Swedish version is by no means a bad film, and actually quite compelling. I worried it would linger too much on its unsavory elements but it offers just enough to set up the second half. There’s a reason this is a classic, and if you were fortunate enough to get the deluxe edition, enjoy. At some point I will watch the other versions included, but for now it was a good start. 

Grave Robbers (1988)

As fate would have it there are more than one films named Grave Robbers released by Vinegar Syndrome. Both came recommended for different reasons. This particular one was described as a Twin Peaks-esque dark comedy and well that description isn’t entirely inaccurate. Caroline actually requested we watch this because it had a loose association with the mortuary sciences. It is at this point that I should warn my readers that many of VS’s releases are a little better with some weed. Everyone in the film just feels slightly off, which along with an early diner scene are the reasons it probably drew Twin Peaks comparisons.

Now this is a classic VS release. There is no world in which Grave Robbers is a “good film” but it was a blast to watch. The surreal nature of the movie was thoroughly compelling and I was on board with the wackiness. In order to enjoy it, you have to take a few leaps of faith though. The central set up to the film is so bizarre that it can sink or swim the whole thing nearly 5 minutes in. A diner waitress who apparently used to be a prostitute accepts a marriage proposal from a stranger in the middle of her shift, fucks off to live in a funeral home and to the surprise of no one, things get weird. This definitely is the type of polarizing picture this company made it’s reputation on so for better or worse this represents the VS brand beautifully.

Scared to Death (1980)

William Malone’s debut feature I believe was one of the final two titles unveiled for the Halfway to Black Friday bundle. I pre-ordered the bundle two months before the sale to save money and lock in free shipping, so I didn’t actually know this was being included. As a halfway subscriber, there will be titles throughout the rest of the year that get sent my way automatically. I therefore felt like this would be a nice introduction to some of the “might as well” releases I’d be receiving. To be honest the majority of Malone’s later features I am either unfamiliar with or they’re just plain garbage.

Scared to Death looked absolutely dreadful in the opening shot, but luckily the restoration looked significantly better as it progressed. It was shot on 16mm in 1980 so I know there’s sometimes only so much you can do especially when something has been out of circulation this long. The movie itself is essentially asking the question “What if we made Alien a slasher film, but he was genetically engineered because we don’t have the money to do space?” So part creature feature, part slasher, and not terribly original. Some of the performances help elevate the movie from the bottom of the barrel, but this is one of those titles where if it isn’t automatically included in your subscription you can probably pass.  

Rancho Deluxe (1975)

So the sale isn’t only about Vinegar Syndrome, there are something like 13 partner labels who participate in the sale as well. Although I largely ignored the recommendations on these titles, Rancho Deluxe was repeatedly recommended. It so happens I was intrigued enough by the involvement of director Frank Perry and the rather stellar cast. Like a sucker though I was sold on the “low slip count” at the start of the sale. So my first order was for this, Fade to Black ,and Grave Secrets. For better or worse, Vinegar Syndrome lists the number of copies left when it dips under 1000. So if you start panicking about a particular title because there are 140 copies left it can sway you to pick it up. It does work both ways because there are plenty of titles I passed on because they were well over 1000. Rancho Deluxe was definitely in the FOMO category.

I have seen a handful of Perry’s films and I can’t quite find a through-line between them. This is possibly the only real comedy he made, and definitely the only one that resembles a Western. Jeff Bridges and Sam Waterson play a couple of likable cattle rustlers who seem to be more into causing mischief than any diabolical criminal activity. The rest of the supporting cast is a who’s who of 70s character actors. For better or worse it also features original music by Jimmy Buffet, who even appears as himself in a saloon. I would definitely recommend it for fans of Bridges, Harry Dean Stanton, and Frank Perry.

Alley Cat (1984)

For reasons I can’t quite understand Vinegar Syndrome has a number of imprints within their label. Among those are the VSA titles, typically limited to 5000 copies, they are designed to be available for a shorter time then gone forever. Typically they have slightly larger budgets and production values, but are more an ode to the video store days. There isn’t a definitive theme among the films, but they do tend to lean more towards action than horror.

Alley Cat is the current front-runner for best film of the haul. I haven’t watched enough of the VSA’s to make any broad generalizations, but I have been mostly impressed with the ones I’ve seen. Karin Mani is awesome as our heroine here. Unlike many revenge, female’s who kick ass movies, she arrives fully formed as a badass. We get no training montages and there is no scene where she actually gets her ass kicked. Alley Cat is something of a cross between a female driven Death Wish and a less vulgar Savage Streets.

Watching a few of these movies there does seem padding, but the only bit of fluff I can find in this movie is the credits which roll incredibly slow, followed by some music on black afterwards to stretch the running time to 83 minutes. If I had any complaint it might be that there’s just not enough of this film. We get a solid half dozen scenes of obnoxious men underestimating our hero only for her to beat their asses. For good measure we even get about five minutes worth of a women in prison movie, which of course features a shower scene because them’s the rules. Reading the reviews on Letterboxd I can say a few folks do not share my enthusiasm, but this was a delightful little package that made my day.

Stanley (1972)

William Grefe is one of those purveyors of regional schlock that seem to be perpetually rediscovered lately. Like Bill Rebane he has a boxed set of films via Arrow, but unlike Bill Rebane he isn’t one of the worst filmmakers to ever live. With that in mind I’m going to tell you Stanley was not for me. Perhaps it is the simple fact that I don’t care for snakes, or the particular brand of low budget trash he operates in is the Florida swamps. Cliff Robinson plays one of the whitest Seminole’s in film, who really loves snakes to the point of murdering everyone who doesn’t share his enthusiasm. In fact if anyone harms his snakes, or threatens to, he is quick to sic his beloved rattlesnake Stanley on them.

This falls into that weird subgenre of “when animals attack” and I guess Grefe, thought fuck it snakes. This was included as a double feature with Horror High. Regional low budget horror is a decided mixed bag, and it’s hard to really classify this as a horror film. It does have plenty of inappropriate music, and rather low stakes situations met with profound brutality. As much as the film might want us to sympathize with our protagonist, he does not make it easy. He does start to unravel which makes it a somewhat interesting turn, but so much of the first ⅔ of Stanley has you questioning what the hell is up with this guy.

Horror High (1973)

In my limited experience with Vinegar Syndrome double features, they tend to go one for two. So after being somewhat let down with Stanley I was hoping for greatness on Horror High. It isn’t exactly a dud, but it’s very far from great. Horror High is cheap and doesn’t try very hard to hide the fact. Val Lewton discovered several decades earlier that if your makeup looks like shit, it’s best to hide it in shadows. Rather on the nose is the opening class film where we hear but don’t see (get it) Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Instead of just hiding a reference to a favorite classic horror film, this goes the very literal route of being a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde knock-off.

Poor Vernon Potts has no shortage of bullies, but his awkwardness is matched only by his scientific ability. Well after a comically violent scene with the world’s most sadistic janitor, he is forced to drink his own experimental potion, and essentially becomes Mr. Hyde. Then the pattern of someone being unreasonably mean to Vernon followed by him Hyde-ing out and getting his revenge plays out until the cops get wise. Some of the kills are fun, and I particularly loved the brutality with cleats. This is one of those cheap drive-in flicks where you can figure out the plot about 20 minutes in and you won’t be wrong. Satisfying in that “good for him” sort of way but it is definitely bogged down by its cheapness.

Overall a pretty decent start to the haul. I did wind up watching a couple other films, but I’ll hold off on those reviews for a potential future post.