Monday, August 26, 2019

The Marvel Cinematic Universe Ranked



Hello true believers, welcome to another blog about Marvel movies. As always I’d like to take a trip down memory lane and talk about the origins of this here blog post. In 2017 Thor: Ragnarok was soon to be released. I had missed Spiderman Homecoming in the theater, and thought it would be high time to catch up on all of the Marvel movies. At the time I had also slipped past Ant Man, Civil War, and had only recently watched Doctor Strange on Netflix. Caroline had seen Iron Man 2, and the two Guardians of the Galaxy movies. As boyfriends and girlfriends tend to do, I figured now would be a good time to indoctrinate her into the cult of Marvel fandom and watch all the MCU films in order.

Well as fate would have it, we weren’t completely caught up by the time Ragnarok came out, but we were on board. I decided this would be a good time to rank all the films, and I started doing some write ups on the movies as we watched them here and here. However once we finally did see everything in order, by that time Black Panther was coming soon, and Infinity War wasn’t far behind. I realized another problem, ranking these films is nearly impossible going purely on memory. How many of you can honestly think right now whether Ant Man was better than Thor, or whether Guardians vol. 2 measures up against Civil War? So I realized that it was splitting hairs ranking each film, I’d write some reviews and call it a day.

Once we were back in Chicago I floated the idea of watching all the films again. Caroline was down and we decided to revisit our favorite collection of super hero films. Some movies I hadn’t seen since the theater, and once we started this process we took our sweet time. From the time we started until we finished Ant Man and the Wasp, Captain Marvel, and Endgame were released on blu-ray. Learning from my past mistakes I realized the only way to rank the films was to keep a running list to be updated after each film. This way instead of looking back after several months to put them in order I merely had to slot each film as it was finished. For example I could ask myself if I thought Captain Marvel was better than Thor, and if so would I put it ahead of Captain America: The First Avenger? As a bonus, we also decided to rank every Stan Lee cameo, which is completely independent of the quality of the film.

So with the exception of Far From Home, which I only saw in theaters and has not yet been released on blu-ray, every Marvel movie I’ve seen at least twice. In the case of a few (Ragnarok, Infinity War) I’ve seen them a half dozen times. I will say this, I do enjoy every one of these films. The “worst” film on this list is still better than the “best” film from DC’s craptacular mess of a movie universe. I would also easily rank every one of these films over all Star Wars films not in the original trilogy. So even the dregs of the MCU are still films I truly enjoy and would happily watch again. I have more detailed reviews of many of these films elsewhere on the blog so I’ll keep my re-caps fairly short here. I present this list in order of worst-to-first. This isn’t the order I recommend watching them, as always stick to chronological. So read on, disagree, argue, and debate me.

23. Thor: The Dark World
This shouldn’t surprise anyone. Since it’s release in theaters it has frequently claimed the infamous title of the MCU’s weakest link. I largely blame Malekith who was easily the most forgettable and generic of all villains. Loki’s slow turn from villain to anti-hero begins here, and Kat Dennings provides wonderful comic relief but there’s a reason this is at the bottom of the list.

22. Iron Man 2
I’ve never “hated” Iron Man 2. It was the first Marvel movie I saw in a midnight showing, and I remember leaving the theater thinking “not quite as good as the first one”. At the time this was the third movie and the first sequel. We meet Black Widow, get a new War Machine, and inch ever so gradually to the eventual Avengers film. It’s hard really to pinpoint what makes this film so weak. I do like Micky Rourke, and Sam Rockwell is fantastic as Justin Hammer. Somehow this film is definitely not the sum of it’s parts, I blame Justin Theroux.

21. Iron Man 3
Hard to believe Iron Man was always my favorite super hero. Considering how strong the first Iron Man movie was, it always baffled me how weak the sequels were. I was excited Shane Black was at the helm. Then I saw the film. Time has let me get over the Mandarin fake out, but I still can’t wrap my brains around how incredibly stupid the ending is with Tony blowing up his Iron Man suits. The fact that this film and Dark World came back to back, actually led to me skipping Winter Soldier in theaters.

20. Doctor Strange
The main complaint with Doctor Strange is that I feel absolutely nothing for anyone in this film. Stephen Strange is monstrously unlikable, like he has all of Tony Stark’s brilliance and narcissism without the charm. I like Doctor Strange in other films, but his own seems like a chore. I do love me some T-Swinslow (Tilda Swinton) so it's certainly not all bad.

19. Ant-Man
After Guardians of the Galaxy proved to be a near perfect film, I felt like Marvel earned the good will to take wild chances. Ant-Man came out in the process of me moving across the country and I never got around to seeing it in theaters. I like Peyton Reed as a director but I went in somewhat skeptical after original director Edgar Wright was replaced. The result is a film that seems to straddle the line between the two and is a decent popcorn film without the fate of the universe at stake. Ant-Man does feel somewhat cobbled together and as an origin story Scott Lang isn’t really the most fascinating character to sit through.

18. The Incredible Hulk
It seems like I’ve always had to defend this film. Sure it’s in the lower third but it has some things going for it. For starters we skip that whole origin crap. Kevin Feige did produce that Ang Lee film no one ever speaks of, but Hulk’s origin is shown in a brief montage during the opening credits. This would be somewhat repeated in Homecoming. I liked Tim Roth and frankly I still enjoy the Harlem video game battle between Hulk and Abomination. A flawed film, but an endearing one.

17. Thor
When the MCU was still being cobbled together I was on board for a Thor film. Marvel had the good sense to cast then unknowns as Thor and Loki and even got well respected Kenneth Branagh to direct. Watching it again I’m baffled by the ridiculous amounts of canted angles, and relative lack of conflict. I know we got used to huge stakes, but really not too much happens in this movie.

16. Captain Marvel
It’s the MCU movie everyone loves to hate. I’m pretty fresh of revisiting this and I’ll say it’s largely solid. There are some dumb moments like Danvers blowing up a juke box to show she isn’t a Skrull, but I blame good old fashioned sexism for the majority of the film’s lukewarm reception. It’s a nice change of pace to have a non-linear origin story and there’s enough twists and turns to make things interesting. The problem for the most part is of course how do you make an omnipotent super hero interesting? It may be hard to detect sarcasm via text, but Vers is just so emotional.

15. Captain America: The First Avenger
From this point on, it’s getting harder and harder to find huge faults in these movies. The first Captain America movie is a paint by numbers origin story that pretty much hits every note it should. The fact that it is so thoroughly competent might be it’s biggest flaw. Anyone familiar with Cap’s origin would just simply nod along in agreement at everything that happens. It took several films for Steve Rogers to become an interesting character, his stoic boy scout act meant the heavy lifting needed to be done by his co-stars.

14. Ant-Man and the Wasp
It took a decade for the MCU to finally give a female super hero co-billing in a title. Coming after Infinity War, the low stakes Ant-Man sequel was a charming breath of fresh air. Peyton Reed seems to have had a more clear cut vision this time around. Once again there isn’t some universe hanging in the balance stakes, and it’s nice for a film like this and Homecoming to show that there are occasional local menaces that need to be dealt with. I’d say this might also be the funniest non-Guardians film in the MCU.

13. The Avengers
This was the film that was hyped up in my mind for years. It did not live up to my expectations, and a second viewing left me feeling like it was merely ok. The last time I sat through it, I started to appreciate it a lot more. It’s concise, we casually bring everyone together, and we set the stage for all the future cross-overs and big events. There would be no Infinity War or Endgame without this, and it’s hard not to get a few chills seeing the gang all together for the first time.

12. Spiderman: Homecoming
After five Spider Man movies that ranged from competent to train wrecks, I wondered if anyone could make a decent film about our friendly neighborhood web-slinger. Tom Holland instantly became everyone’s favorite Peter Parker, and Michael Keaton acts his god damn ass off as Vulture. I wouldn’t call the film perfect, but it did a great job of grounding Spider Man in the MCU as well as Queens, NY. Thankfully we also got spared another Uncle Ben murder and another pointless origin story.


11. Black Panther
For a time last year it seemed like Black Panther might be the cure to cancer. People really, really loved this movie. I’d say some of that initial enthusiasm has died down, but it did point to a world where these films could be taken seriously as movies not just super hero pictures. Despite the fairy tale nature of Wakanda, the film does seem far more rooted into the real world than any other Marvel movie. Erik Killmonger is probably my favorite MCU villain not named Thanos. Unfortunately the third act seems to forget it’s about social commentary and needs a pointless CGI filled fight.

10. Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Avengers sequel that broke Joss Whedon, and was largely remembered by everyone as a let down might seem to be too high on this list for some. Well I have never really been able to wrap my head around the bashing of the movie. There are some diversions that I could do without (namely Thor fucking off to get in a hot tub and see Ragnarok), but it’s a solid film. Scarlet Witch, Vision, and all too briefly Quicksilver are introduced, and well Ultron is just fucking awesome.

9. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
The second Guardians movie did pretty much everything the first one did, except with 100% more Kurt Russell. By that metric it’s somewhat surprising this isn’t my favorite MCU film. Any complaint I might have is purely nitpicking though. Drax goes head first into comic relief territory, and we learn that Peter Quill is half-god. Mantis joins the team and Nebula finally stops being an intergalactic fuck-up. It’s mainly just fun to see the gang get together again for another adventure. There is nothing deeply profound here, but the formula for the first film didn’t need to be messed with.

8. Iron Man
The first Iron Man film hasn’t really aged like a fine wine, more like a bottle of KBS. You remember how great it was when it came out, realize it still holds up, but the rest of the super hero movies have since passed it by. It’s hard to even say there is a “villain” in this film as the final fight seems to be so low-stakes. Jeff Bridges is great however but it’s really just about Tony Stark tinkering and figuring out how to be a super hero. I waited my whole life for Iron Man to hit the big screen, and if they had fucked this up we would not have gotten Thor, Cap, the Avengers, Black Panther, Guardians, Thanos, etc.

7. Spider Man: Far From Home
So here’s where I remind you all I’ve only seen this film once, but damn. We tie everything back to the MCU, including bringing back Peter Billingsly from the original Iron Man. We figure out what’s happening post-snap, and luckily for us all the important people seem to have been dusted. Jake Gyllenhaal is great as Mysterio (perhaps not as great as Keaton, but I digress), but holy shit if I were ranking post-credit scenes this might top the list. The future of Spidey and the MCU is up in the air right now, but I have some faith they’ll do the right thing. If not, they couldn’t have gone out with a better Spider Man film.

6. Captain America: Civil War
There had been hints in the earlier films that these movies might soon take themselves too seriously, but that all comes to a head here. As frivolous as the split may be, there are few greater moments in the MCU than everyone fighting it out in the airport. This film showed the Russo’s are highly skilled at juggling lots of characters and we realized we could quickly catch you up on new characters without bogging anything down in pointless exposition. Many Marvel movies you could just pick up anywhere, have a good adventure and eat popcorn. Civil War was the first real time that you needed to be a minor expert on every previous film to truly appreciate.

5. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Super hero fatigue hit me in 2014. After Iron Man 3 and The Dark World I merely shrugged my shoulders at another Captain America movie. I didn’t know who the Russo brothers were, and figured I knew the plot well enough. Well who knew Cap would wind up with the MCU’s finest second film? I still get angered at Nick Fury’s fake death bullshit, but the rest of the film is quite Eqqsquizitine Buble-Schwinslow. It’s also one of the films that does get better with time. Seeing Cap meet Sam Wilson might not register initially, but becomes huge later on. Also all the secret Hydra agents shed new light on earlier scenes, particularly Senator Stern’s insistence on getting Iron Man’s suits in the government.

4. Avengers: Endgame
It’s hard to think of another film with a huge budget, giant cast, and crazy amounts of hype that is three hours of shameless fan service. Markus and McFeely wrote their 6th MCU script and the Russo brothers were directing their fourth, and no one seemed remotely concerned about catching you up to speed. This movie was a love letter to the fans that were there since Iron Man. This was for people who saw every movie multiple times. There is a reference to pretty much every previous entry, countless call backs, unique angles at classic moments, and more than enough giddy moments of sheer fanboy joy. Watching it again this past week I found myself getting excited about everything before it happens, sort of like laughing at Simpson’s lines before they occur. Endgame gave us about the most thrilling conclusion we could ask for. It essentially did everything we thought we’d see in the first 15 minutes, then went on a 2 and half hour trip down memory lane. The only reason it isn’t higher is because holy shit the whole Captain America going back to Peggy Carter thing seriously destroys the whole time continuum thing. Oh well with any time travel film it’s best not to think too hard about it.

3. Thor: Ragnarok
At this point in time it’s safe to say each of the next three films can lay a valid claim to #1. Ragnarok was the first Marvel movie Caroline and I saw at the premiere. Despite how lackluster the two previous Thor films were, everything seemed to line up for a near perfect film. We got a Planet Hulk film, Thor fully embraced the silliness of his character. Loki is a good guy (sort of), we get so much Jeff Goldblum, Cate Blanchett hams it up in spectacular fashion, and all the Tessa Thompson we can shake a stick at. Since it’s release I’ve easily watched this more than any Marvel movie. In fact I’ve watched it more than any movie period in the last two years. If Caroline got home from work today and said “wanna watch Ragnarok?” I’d probably have to say yes.Taika Waititi made a hilarious, exciting, colorful space opera that instantly succeeded by destroying everything about Thor. He also gets bonus points for providing the most entertaining audio commentary track.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy
I have said on more than one occasion that this film is what I wish the new Star Wars movies were. One human stand in then a ragtag crew of super powered aliens traveling through space and getting into various shenanigans. It works because James Gunn was given a pretty wide open canvas to do what he wanted. In 2014, Chris Pratt was far from a leading man, and unlike all the previous Marvel movies, The Guardians were hardly a household name. This proved though that without any prior expectations you could still make a great film with the right ingredients. I have naturally always been fond of Marvel’s cosmic side both in comics and the films, but I still get surprised at how well this was pulled off.

1. Avengers: Infinity War
In the case of Ragnarok and Guardians of the Galaxy those films exceeded the low ceiling of expectations I had. Inifnity War however was THE film. The one I was looking forward to since reading the Infinity Gauntlet saga in the early 90s. I dreamed of a day when Thanos would be battling the entire Marvel Universe. It seemed like a pipe dream, even as super hero films were starting to be made. It took Marvel Studios a decade and nearly 20 films to get to this point, but Jesus Christ did it deliver. Whereas Endgame seemed like a greatest hits compilation of Marvel movies, this was more of a culmination. Thanos had been teased since 2012, always a menace that was never really explained. He instantly lived up to all my expectations, proved to be the most compelling and complex villain yet faced, as well as the most powerful. Also unlike previous Avengers films and even Civil War, we got everyone in this crossover (minus Ant-Man and Hawkeye). There were unusual team ups and for the first time in any Marvel movie, the bad guy won. I know this seems like part one of two, but they hit on everything right with this film. Perhaps it edges out Ragnarok and GOTG because of the enormous scale. Either way, my list.


Bonus

Stan Lee cameos in the MCU*
There is no cameo for Far From Home, and I’m not counting the countless other Stan Lee cameos in non-MCU related films. These are also worst to first.

22. Iron Man 2
21. The Avengers
20. Doctor Strange
19. Captain America: The First Avenger
18. Ant-Man
17. Black Panther
16. Iron Man 3
15. Guardians of the Galaxy
14. Avengers: Infinity War
13. Spiderman: Homecoming
12. Avengers: Endgame
11. Ant-Man and the Wasp
10. Captain Marvel
9. Thor: The Dark World
8. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2
7. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
6. Thor
5. Iron Man
4. Captain America: Civil War
3. The Incredible Hulk
2. Thor: Ragnarok
1. Avengers: Age of Ultron



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