Well here we are with roughly an hour to go before Seth
Macfarlane begins what's sure to be a painfully awkward monologue mixed with a
musical number no one wants to hear as random nominees are shown in the
audience awkwardly smiling and Jack Nicholson pops up for no reason at
all. We've all seen it before just
substitute whoever you want for the host or the nominees it's usually the same
which brings me to my theme of this year's program, who gives a shit?
Alright I'm jaded I admit it. I got off to a very late start with this
year's crop, and although there is only one film I haven't seen from the four
major categories (The Impossible) I have never felt particularly informed with
this group. For starters I have avoided
nearly all pre-Oscar predictions on forums/blogs/magazines/tv/etc. For this reason I don't really know what's
going to win anything, and seeing how all the nominees do very little for me I
can't say I care.
So let's make a quick run through of what's what and maybe
you give a shit so that's why you're checking this out before the big night.
Best Picture
Ok well a few of these films nominated I actually
liked. In fact as of now I'd probably
give my best picture award to Django Unchained, but I admittedly have a lot to
see before I put out a top ten. Thing is
even though the film has the mighty Weinstein brothers backing it they don't
seem to concerned with buying this film Oscars, certainly not to the extent that
they whored our The Artist or King's Speech.
Perhaps they figure every couple of years they need to take a step back
so people don't think the entire thing is some crooked scheme cooked up by
them. That said I have heard not one
soul agree with my pick or anyone even suggest the film has more than say a 5%
chance of winning. This is a shame. You can also question why The Master and
Moonrise Kingdom, arguably the best reviewed American films of the past year
weren't among the nine nominees.
Which brings me to my next point, really Academy? In the years of 1944-2008 if a film was shut
out of the best picture race there might be some grumbling but you realized
hell there were only five nominees so well it's just a matter of opinion. Now that they can nominate up to ten when a
film that gets as much acclaim as the Anderson's respective films it just seems
downright rude and moronic to leave them out of the running even if they
wouldn't stand a chance of winning.
After all does anyone really care that Life of Pi, Les Miserables, or
Beasts of the Southern Wild is up for best picture. I'm not even bad mouthing these movies per se
I'm just saying that I can't imagine anyone (other than a very enthusiastic
musical theater fan) complaining that one of these films were
"snubbed" if they were left off the ballot. However the long standing history of the
Academy being clueless continues.
The top prize seems to be between Argo and Lincoln this
year, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh sorry fell asleep there did I miss
anything? Did the show start yet? Oh we're good, anyways I was saying something
about zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. In all seriousness though if this is the
great Oscar race this year wake me when next year's show starts. Argo does have one major handicap, and that
is Ben Affleck isn't nominated for best director. This might not seem important especially considering
all the things Argo has going for it, but the last time a film won best picture
without having a best director nomination was Driving Miss Daisy, all the way
back in 1989. So it's not impossible,
but certainly a rare occurrence if this film wins. Argo does however meet a great many Oscar
requirements. At its core it's a stupid
potboiler complete with last minute rescue scene. It is "controversial" in that
ultra-safe way that won't offend anyone.
It's a period picture that can evoke emotions from a time the older
members can recall. Perhaps most
importantly it shows actual Hollywood people being heroes, something voters
couldn't help but pat themselves on the back for.
I don't think it's a bad film by any stretch even though I
would point to Lincoln and Les Miserables as the two worst films nominated, but
it's not terribly good either. Zero Dark
Thirty, Django, and Silver Linings Playbook are my favorite nominees. Of these only David O. Russell scored a best
director nomination. He has proven over
the last 13 years that he's one of the best American directors working today
and you might wonder in a somewhat wide open race if this isn't the year where
Academy members feel it's good enough. I
likewise haven't heard any real buzz about this film winning, so who knows, but
it would be a hell of a lot better than most of the nominees.
Beasts of the Southern Wild is a big stinking turd, sorry I
said it. If you haven't seen the film
yet, don't worry all you need to know is the main character who inexplicably
got a best actress nomination is named Hushpuppy. Both her and this film will be forgotten in
approximately two months when this film fades into obscurity and is
occasionally dug up by some Oscar historian wondering how it got all those
nominations. Benh Zeitlin got a surprise
best director nomination and let's say he'll get a pass to see what he does
with his career from here, but let's not be too surprised if he goes David
Gordon Green on us and directs such future classics like The Babysitter or Your
Highness.
Anyways I don't care about the rest of the nominees so
there.
Best Actor
Daniel Day Lewis is gunning for his third Oscar because
that's what he does. I don't care if he
wins, sure he was good but well I've never been overly impressed with someone
who impersonates a historical figure for a movie. It worked for Meryl Streep last year but that
might be more because people were just sick of her being nominated every year
and just were hoping she'd stop for awhile if they just gave her one (similar
to Susan Sarandon in the early 90s). I'm
pulling for Joaquin Phoenix because he was amazing and has been consistently
amazing in nearly all of his movies to date.
Denzel was damn good as well in Flight, and I was very impressed with
Bradley Cooper for the first time ever in Silver Linings. Hugh Jackman did a fine job in a film I
didn't like so really may the best man win I won't be terribly upset regardless
of the outcome.
Best Actress
I have no idea who is supposed to win this year. I haven't kept up on the countless other
award shows but it seems Jessica Chastain has a shot. She gets a couple of "Oscar moments"
in Zero Dark and maybe she can turn that into gold. Emmanuelle Riva was a surprise nomination in
her return to the screen for Amour, and I haven't bothered learning that 5 year
olds name who plays Hushpuppy in that film I already forgot because she won't
win I'll bet you $80 billion she won't win.
So maybe Jessica gets her gold or Jennifer Lawrence who has had a mighty
impressive year. Neither of these
choices would surprise me. I still
haven't seen Naomi Watts in The Impossible so I can't comment on it, but the
fact that no one saw this movie makes me think this is one of those be happy
you were nominated nominations.
Other
The supporting categories aren't terribly exciting because
they never are. From what I'm told Anne
Hathaway is going to win, so good for her she's a robo-babe and I've been a fan
of her work for years. Tommy Lee Jones
seemed like an early favorite for Lincoln and well that wouldn't be too
bad. In fact he was probably my favorite
thing about the movie. Philip Seymour
Hoffman was probably the best in The Master but we already know that the
Academy didn't think too highly of that film.
I suppose as long as Alan Arkin doesn't win again I'll be happy. Maybe another kind of nostalgia will pop up
because Robert De Niro gave his best performance in two decades for Silver
Linings. Again may the best man win.
Foreign Language film is a snore fest this year because
again the backwards and antiquated system of nominating films leaves much to be
desired. Amour is the only one of these
nominees anyone has probably seen and this is always the case. In a perfect world Holy Motors would have
been nominated but well that would make too much sense, certainly it would make
more sense than the film itself.
As for the rest who cares?
That's my overwhelming theme of this year's show. I don't care, at all really. If you want I will make my picks of what I
would like to see win, but again this isn't what I think will win, because I
have no idea and I certainly don't expect to be right on any of these.
Best Picture - Django Unchained
Best Director - David O. Russell
Best Actor - Joaquin Phoenix
Best Actress - Jessica Chastain
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