Considering the 84th Annual Academy Awards just ended 1 minute ago, and of course a dozen or so minutes over schedule, I have a rather fresh and not quite thought out approach on how to tackle the ceremony this year.
For starters as I indicated in my last blog, read it below if you haven't already, I didn't care too much about this year's crop. A host of who gives a crap won awards and a few of the winners that I didn't object to at least kept me from getting infuriated like many of the past ceremonies have.
So I said earlier that I could see The Artist winning damn near everything. OK Hugo won a couple awards earlier which made me wonder if an upset was in the works, but this sort of thing happens a lot. I was completely bewildered as to how The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo won anything, and judging by the acceptance speech for best film editing, apparently neither did the winners.
I figure since I started with the who cares awards earlier I'll do the same here.
So Brett McKenzie won an Oscar, who saw that one coming? Not me because I didn't even connect the dots regarding his nomination for best original song. Those unfamiliar with Flight of the Concords should do themselves a solid and check that show out. I didn't see Rio or the newest Muppet movie and find it incredibly pointless and slightly insulting that they bothered to nominate a whopping two songs in this category. Hey whatever at least he can always throw "Academy Award Winner" before his name on the new season, or any future project, just like Cuba Gooding Jr.
A Separation won best foreign film, justice done. Rango won best animated feature, who gives a shit? I didn't know anyone even liked the film, I think it was a case of people just voting for a picture they heard of, or maybe the 60+ year old Academy members asking their grandkids which of the nominees sucked the least. Bravo, I'm sure a Pixar film will take that award right back next year.
Justice was served one other time, anyone but me notice the deafening silence when Extremely Loud and Incredibly Terrible was announced for best picture? Even War Horse got a bigger round of applause. If only you could take back nominations.
"Hey look a black woman won an Oscar, oh wait it's supporting, that's ok, we're still supposed to give her a standing ovation right even if we never heard of her?" Please don't misinterpret that but it feels like the Academy is begging for acceptance in the black community lately by giving out awards as if it were affirmative action. Not saying the award wasn't justified, but it probably would have been a bigger gesture if it was Viola Davis who won.
Which brings me to Meryl Streep, good for you after losing 15 times or whatever you finally win. Now Academy members can you please stop nominating her for every damn thing she does? I mean Julie and Julia? The Devil Wears Prada? come on why don't you just film her next trip to the dentist and give her a nomination? She picked a good year to get her 17th nomination because her competition was appallingly weak (sorry Ms Davis) so hey get it out of the way because the next dozen nominations might come against more deserving foes. She was funny and gracious as you would expect, so kudos to her she did her best at not rubbing it in or turning into a big blubbering mess.
However I've said this before and I thought they were done with it, stop with the 10 minute segment of individually kissing each nominee's ass. Seriously the damn show goes on for like four hours and people need to work in the morning, just get the damn thing over with, why should an actor and actress award take so much precedence over every other category? I get it best picture is the big award, the last one handed out, but come on no one needs to hear that crap.
Way to go Christopher Plummer, I don't object to the win, as I mentioned in the previous post, and at 82 I'd say he was due. I love Max Von Sydow but good god damn that film was so terrible, I think it ultimately cost him. Nick Nolte looked rather red, glad to see he's still alive, not sure he quite appreciated Billy Crystal's jokes, and don't think anyone appreciated his excruciating annual musical medley.
Also Woody Allen you proved once again why you're the man. You were up for best director and best original screenplay and you said to hell with it. You won an award and didn't bother to show up, I salute you for not wasting our time with another pointless speech, the man is clearly beyond that. Midnight in Paris happens to be the best script he's written in well over a decade, possibly two so glad to see it wasn't a token award.
Rose Byrne, eat a cheeseburger for Christ's sake you're gorgeous but you looked like you gave up eating food of any kind as a New Years Resolution, we all saw what happened to Lara Flynn Boyle, so please have a slice of pizza and make sure there aren't vegetables on it.
I should also point out that Terrence Mallick who directed the best film of the decade decided to sit this one out as well. I was surprised and pleased that he was nominated for Tree of Life, but knowing full well he didn't have a chance in hell of winning he figured it probably wasn't worth the trip. Michel (I still can't spell your last name without looking it up) you did a damn fine job with The Artist and although Tree of Life is that once a generation groundbreaking earth shattering super colossal masterpiece that will be debated and contested for the end of time, I won't begrudge you your Oscar. The Artist was great, so won't slight the film for it's best score, actor, director, or picture Oscars. The Academy has a long list of blunders, including a miscalculation last year with The King's Speech, but I'll score this as one more on the side of good.
*btw I realize that this was a Weinstein film, the same people that made The King's Speech and all those other undeserving best picture winners like The English Patient, Shakespeare in Love, and Chicago. That said I they also helped produce Pulp Fiction so they aren't always bad.
**She was damn good in Precious but can we please stop saying she's beautiful? Sorry, I'm not blind
***James Earl Jones is the man and at least half of Morgan Freeman's work should be his.
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